On March 13th in Thailand, it was National Elephant Day. As THIS link shows, it seems to be about young Thai ladies in dresses and Elephants doing paintings. What is not shown is the possibility that the “ladies” could well be doing a little “tucking back”. If you know what I mean.
But that is irrelevant to the day; and even those men with the wanton need to dress as a woman and try to sleep with rich Westerners should be able to celebrate a huge grey thing with a long trunk. Which is NOT tucked back to create an illusion of being something other to what it was born as.
But all this talk of playing hide the sausage has got us away from the main reasons for this post.
I was going to say that we should celebrate the trusty squirrel with National Squirrel Day. A day where we get to look at a small furry animal and it’s nuts and how they grab big handfuls of them and hide them away for the winter. But then I realised 2 things. 1) That takes us back to the whole Thailand Tuckback situation, and 2) Squirrel Appreciation Day is on January 21st every year.
So that ruined that one.
Knowing this, I figured we could maybe celebrate the trusty Beer Can. Something that has brought pleasure (well the contents has, but the vessel to bring it in still has an importance) to my life on a night out or a night in. Once again I realised 2 things. 1) In a bar, you get bowls of nuts. So we are still celebrating nuts in a way, and 2) January 24th. Beer Can Appreciation Day.
Therefore I decided to go the way of the fake deity. To something that I don’t think exists. So I chose Jesus. We could celebrate Jesus. Once again, 2 things. 1) 25th December. Someone got in there first and already celebrates it, and 2) Your nuts right? You may as well celebrate an Elephant.
I dug down deep. What could we celebrate? Ah-Haaaa! Waffles. No… someone would have done that, so how about Waffle Iron Day! Yeah! Who would have thought of that one!!! 2 things. 1) June 29th each and every year already. 2) People are frigging nuts and will celebrate anything .
After much deliberating, all I have come up with is that I don’t intend to create one. Instead, on October 22nd, I will celebrate National Nut Day.
Unfortunately for my gorgeous wife, on the day our first child is due, it is “Thread the Needle Day”. No, really. If sprogly comes bang on time, she isn’t gonna be happy when I tell her this.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 