“If music be the food of love, play on”.
That is a well known saying by a man who wore clothes which made him look stupid. (No, it is not Gok Wang. He might dress like someone with the IQ of an omeba and be excruciatingly annoying, but the chances of him talking instead of dribbling absolute shite is just not going to happen).
Originally the saying ended in “mines a burger please” instead of “play on”, but the masses at the time just didn’t get it, so with all original pieces of art, it was changed. I am of course talking of Shakespeare.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking “heeeeey! Sy is going to write an intellectual post rather then the usual rubbish”. Well. You know what! NEVER going to happen people!
Instead I am going to talk music. And maybe food. Hell, I might even talk about a blind Albino lesbian dwarf named Shirley. I dunno. Lets see where the post takes me.
It is a well known fact in circles which I am the only member, that my taste in music is the only one worth having. This is because I believe that you should listen to music by people who genuinely create music. I have a huge issue with manufactured pop crap. But what is it coming to when a record label goes on the hunt for monks to record a “Gregorian Chant Album”. AND. What is it coming to when monks actually reply! Yes, hundreds of monks responded, but the winner was the Cistercian monastery in Austria’s Vienna forest.
How did they win?
Naturally, they submitted a YouTube clip of themselves.
If we can now get the usual pop-crap “artists” (I use the word artists as loosely as an enema overdose) to take a vow of silence in replace of the singing monks. Or just to go away. Not for long. Just forever.
Tom Lewis who is the “Record more crap” executive at Universal who are going to record and release the album said that”They’re lovely people, they’re very passionate about their music and they’re very excited about this opportunity”. Shortly after, they say “Universal staff, who have yet to meet the monks…”. Good job Mr Lewis. At least you haven’t lied.
So just what turkey is going to listen to a CD of Gregorian chanting anyway? These turkeys. And what is their top 10 favourite choons?
1 – Gregorian chanting
2 – Happy turkeys
3 – Farmyard sound
4 – Trotting horses
5 – Sounds of the forest
6 – Sounds of the seaside
7 – Wind on the moors
8 – Dawn chorus
9 – Wind chimes
10 – Whale sounds
Whale sounds?? So with the exception of a nice mid summer cruise, when the hell do turkeys hear the call of a whale to know that it works for them? Or Happy Turkeys? How do people know the turkeys are happy? Maybe they are repeatedly saying “187 more days until we get butchered for someones dinner. 186 more days until we ge…” etc. Sorry if I sounded like some vegetarian campaign group. I eat meat! I love meat! Cows have on occasion told me how happy they are that their ultimate sacrifice is for my greater good and meaty needs. So. Viva!. Stick that in your vegetarian pipe and get high on it. Vegetables have feelings too you know. Are they trying to tell us that the Venus Fly Trap doesn’t have a mind of its own? And my mate harold the Marrow would be devastated if his yougest son ended up on some veggies plate!
My word. That was almost confrontational. But really. Have they not noticed that MEAT is just short for “Must EAT”?
I think I should probably find a CD with Gregorian chanting on or something to calm me down.
They make CD’s with that on right?
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