As you know, the fruitarians and the animals are at war. If you don’t know…well, go read THIS post and it will alllllll make sense. This is a report from the frontline. Some of the images may not be suitable for minors as they show the rigours of war.
The sheep led by a coalition of the bovine tribes, has lead the charge. Here is a brave sheep ready to go:
Waiting to see him in battle are the frontline potatoes who the fruits have paid to be the 1st wave:
A scary formidable force as you can see.
Here is the battle ready to happen. Both sides poised like a poised thing ready to become unpoised and all battlehardened. A missile flies overhead aiming towards the potatoes. First strike. It begins.
It has been crazy. I watched the start of the battle and it was messy. The Bovines sent the sheep in, which against the potatoes…well, there was no resistance. The ICBM’s (Impressive CowCrap Bringing Missiles) were sent over destroying the defenses ready for the sheep to overrun and take over the initial position. The Fruitarians retreated, but brought out the big guns. The strawberries came to the line and dished out a vast amount of juice. A lot of sheep were lost in that part of the battle. With the potatoes defeated early on, and the strawberries starting to fade, the fruitarians brought the baked beans in to the attack. The sheep stopped, eating the baked beans as they defeated them. Bad move. It meant the sheep could no longer hide in the shadows. While trying to take “Fruity Hill”, they were undone by the constant farting caused by eating the baked beans. What seemed like a crazy move by the fruitarians was paying off. They could smell the lambs coming now. And if they couldn’t smell them, they could certainly hear them.
The fruitarians, cornering the sheep, fly over in their spaceships and dropped bombs on the sheep.
As night fell, each came out to get their fallen brothers. Unfortunately, everyone picked up the wrong soldier. The cows spent the night eating backed potatoes (from the ones that were not mashed by the ICBM’s) and the fruits ate lamb chops.
I myself ate a baked potato with beans on it. I did sneak a lamb chop too, but they have not noticed.
“Harrowing” was one word I heard. “Unreal. There was a lot of fruitjuice spilt today, but still they kept on coming” was another phrase.
The cows have informed me that they intend to try to take Fuity Hill tomorrow. I will write details of the battle as it happens. For the moment, it is all quiet on the battlefield orchard.
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