Stinky socks. Toe fungus. Harold. You see, I ask for words to write a post about, but I also enjoy the reading just what on earth is in someones head. And in the head of Kay Four, (Kay Four? As in Kay Four is better then Jeff Five? I should Ask Jeeves) there seems to be an athletes foot issue. Is it that she feels the need to run, but her feet are sweating too much, or is it that she is finding a reason to not do this exercise? I don’t know fellow readers. I just know she gave me words to write about. So I will. And the result is this:
In the middle of a big field stood a mushroom. To his family, he was known as Colin. To the rest of the world he was known as Magic because it was amazing how high he could jump. Being a mushroom and all. He had aspirations of being a basketball player because of his height and abilities though.
Harold, the farmer who owned the field realised the potential in Colin, and spared him from being an ingredient in a dodgy green thing. Salad I think they call it. I wouldn’t know of such things. Salad dodger? Maybe..
Sending Colin away to college, he became a big star in the local basketball arena.
Then one day…
Because of a horrific accident involving a sweet and sour sauce and some noodles, Colin’s life was cut short. A seat in the garden was dedicated to “Magic Mushroom”.
Accident? Really? How do you accidentally become cooked in a nice sauce, and subsequently eaten with a side of noodles? Who was the fiend who had done this?
DNA is without doubt the single most useful tool of the investigators, after beating a confession out of any random person. Choosing DNA over an illegal beating, Colin’s clothes were checked. Upon their findings, Harold was arrested.
But what drove Harold to make a tasty dish of Colin? The police delved in to the murky underworld of Harold, the mushroom farmer.
It seemed that Harold and Colin were part of a large male group called GROSS (Grievous Respire Of Stinky Socks). The group were known to send other members pairs of their sweaty stinky socks which were generally sniffed, sucked on, worn or anything that the receiver wished to do with the socks.
Harold always enjoyed using the socks to the max. Sucking them several times a day, and leaving them warm and wet with saliva to dry naturally, ready to be worn or sucked on again later. Each pair of socks were sent back to the originator after 7 days of use.
It seems that because of Colin’s ability at basketball and his constant practising, his feet would sweat as much as a turkey realising it is December and none of his family are answering the phone. But because of his poor hygiene, he had toe fungus which practically grey Colin a whole new body. But this toe fungus rubbed off on to his socks and Harold had been munching down on fungus filled socks causing ulcers, warts and a very itchy tongue.
Rage filled Harold, and he extracted his revenge on Colin. Murdering him in the name of making the tasty dish.
Harold got an 8 year prison sentence for the crime.
The socks were sent from another member of GROSS. Colin had not sent any socks for some time as he was concentrating on his promising career. *DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNN*
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