As young Mr Floog mentioned in a comment to yesterdays post, I had crossed the line. The post in question was regarding sucking sweaty socks. This, from a man who had me shot in the head in a post he wrote HERE. So I figured while I am already over this side of the line, I would stay for just one more post.
Do you wanna know why?
Because when you read a story like I read a minute ago, you have to write about it. Mr Floog, this one is for you my friend. I promise to head back to the other side of the line after this, but you will see from the source material, it is hard to write a post about it and stay on the “safe” side of the line.
Ever had the urge to make coffee out of your own poop? I am guessing probably not. What about from someone else’s poop? No? Thought not.
OK. What about animal poop? Starting to get more keen? No? Not even a little? Come on…
Right. Let me put it this way. If I was to feed the coffee beans to an animal and then make coffee from it’s poop? Even remotely interested? What if I told you that if you did this, you could sell it for £50 a shot and people would actually buy it?
And then I got your attention. Hello!
Yes that is right. Unlike Starbucks where the coffee just tastes like crap, there is a legitimate coffee made from the Kopi Luwak beans which are eaten by a cat-like Asian palm civet, pooped out, cleaned and roasted. You then drink the finished result.
The words “Yummy!” and “Interesting!” do NOT come to mind. The words “Disgusting” and “Drinking roasted cat crap” DO come to mind.
Oh, and the beans are hand roasted for around 12 minutes to maximise the potential of each coffee.
Hand roasted? So is some dude just squeezing them really tight while standing near a fire or what? And if he hasn’t washed his hands…well.. you just enjoy your cup of coffee OK?
I should also mention that that a roast master who climbed the mountain to find out how this works is called Mr Gross. Naturally.
OK. So I understand there is a shortage of food in the world. But I have seen and smelt what has left my cats behind. And you know what? She eats roasted meat cat pouches. There is no freakin way I am eating re-fried poop. Re-roasted poop. POOP. I am not gonna eat nor drink it.
But. Here is where I stay over the line, so I apologise for the next piece of text. Should someone want a unique flavour coffee, I will happily eat chicken or beef or whatever you want your coffee to taste like. I will roast any “left overs” that may come out, and ship it out freeze dried to you. It will cost you a LOT less then £50 a shot.
If this is not your thing, why not wash down your £50 Cup o’Dung with a nice expensive £85 sandwich?
Right. I am off to get a coffee and drink it on the safe side of the line.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 