Before I get to the actual post, I just need to ask a question. It is a serious question, so if anyone has the answer, please put it in the comments section.
Here in Blighty, our news channels follow American politics constantly (because ours is messed up, so we may as well check on how messed up the international competition is). I have seen Hilary Clinton more times then I care to remember of late. What I want to know: What is it with all the pointing and “yeah baby! Me and you!” gesturing that goes on at the end of the speech? Is she choosing the next mortal whose brains she is going to suck out? And Billy Boy does it too. The point, smile and give a “yes. YOU!” nod.
It is the brain sucking thing isn’t it! Please tell me I am not right… At least Obama has the decency to have a cattle of brain sucking victims in a ranch somewhere. He doesn’t go fishing for mortal souls every time he stands on a podium.
You know, I could carry on writing this one as it goes, but I wont. I cant. I wrote the title of the post already in anticipation of the post I planned to write. Ergo, I shall do the planned one.
Ergo?? Geez. Anyway.
Imagine if you were to put a couple of your favourite hobbies together and see what happens. Now imagine that one of your hobbies is holding up shops. The other? The other is that you like to sniff thongs.
They are not exactly hobbies you can do at the same time though are they? Oh of course they are. I myself have 2 hobbies that shouldn’t be done at the same time…but does that stop me? Of course not. I am more then happy to plug in my electric razor to the plug socket and then shave while in the bath. It saves me time. And I am only shaving my face, so it doesn’t touch the water. And with the small exception of those 3 times where it DID fall in the bath…well…I like the twitch I have. When I was single, all the women wanted me because they thought I was winking at them and giving them a cheeky side smile. That along with my amazing sense of humour and personal hygiene record (dodgy odour free for 18 days now!) meant that nothing could ever go wrong!
But enough about me. Lets talk about the panty sniffing shop robber hobbies. (Try saying “panty sniffing shop robber hobbies” fast 3 times. It can be done, but sounds amusing!) Of course they can be done at the same time. What you do it stick the thong on your head, and go and rob a shop. Yes, I know, a thong isn’t exactly a voluminous pair of undies that will cover your head and disguise you. But should that put you off doing it? No it shouldn’t. (I recommend hitting the link if even just to look at the CCTV picture!)
What I love about that news story is the very last line: “The men, believed to be in their 20s, were not armed.” Indeed. Quite literally really, because they are lacking some serious ammo in the brain department. I have to wonder if they were arrested for being high?! Were the thongs clean? Did they steal the thongs from girlfriends or did they hold up a panty shop? What did they wear if they did indeed hold up a panty shop? A nice pair of stripey boxers with a button fly? Or something silly like a balaclava?
Whatever next? Maybe people should rob a place and write their name on the wall. Nothing bad will ever happen with that!
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 