For those of you that are interested, or those that are going to add content, or even those that see a link and feel they must click it, I have put up the template to the new site. No content there (unless you count my post saying there is nothing to see here), but you will get an idea for how it will look. My absence from posts the last few days has been a culmination of hot weather – Beer in hand. Decorating – Beer in hand. And creating the new site – Mate did the graphics etc and I had a beer in hand. So I think you can see where I am going with that. Anyway, the new site is at http://www.disconnectedconsortium.comand those of you who wanted to contribute, can you drop me an email so I can email you your user details. I wont sell your email address…for less then £80 a shot. I also wont send you every sap joke I get. Infact, I wont even email you after I have sent you the user details unless it is about the site!
Now. What to write. I didn’t plan on doing a post today for two reasons. 1 is I have a lot on at the moment, and 2 is that I don’t have any content, so I am flying by the seat of my pants!
The one thing that the hot weather (no, it is not the fault of the beers. It is a weather issue, OK?) has brought is that I have started to see ghostly apparitions. Actually, just a foot. A dark mysterious foot. And always in the same place, but is there day or night. But I only ever see it out of the corner of my eye. It freaked me out on several occasions recently, and then yesterday I realised that I am a complete and utter doofus. The ghostly apparition is a damn glass table top standing on it’s side that I walk past. How the hell did I not work this one out? I mean really… The table top has stood there for weeks and every damn day I walk past it, see the foot, freak out like a big girl. I never worked out it was the table. I think that could explain the name of this site really!
Talking of ghostly apparitions, during a quiet drinking session with a few friends on Saturday night, my fence is now “red wine” red. Actually, it is more the colour of red that has been sitting in a stomach and is then released. At one point during the removal of his dinner and drink, I was tempted to pick my mate up and paint the whole fence. Not knowing how much he had in him, it was going to be more of a spin him around and see how much I could cover before he ran dry and I had to refill him Now, normally those fence painting things are either electric or pump activated. There was no way I was inserting batteries in to any orifice of my friend, nor was I going to give him a good pumping (we are close…but geez…that is a little closer then I ever wanna be with another man). But he did look a little whiter by the time he had finished decorating my fence and lawn.
And then we get to my wife. She has a stomach that moves on it’s own accord. If I didn’t know she was pregnant, I would think there is definitely something growing in there. Now, with 7 weeks to go, I was most worried that she is going to have issues with the pressure of “squeezing it out” in the allowed time. For instance, I saw this sign:
which I am worried is going to cause her some issues. She is only a small woman with a large stomach. Should towing really be necessary? Although, I do feel that after the “I HATE YOU!” and “Come near me again and I will rip the testicles from your body and ram them in your ears!!” phrases I shall more then likely hear on the day of the birth, not to mention that she is freakishly strong for a small person and will pummel the living crap out of me, I feel that I may well be towed away. In a body bag. By a trained chimp. Why a trained chimp? Well, this is the NHS. They are always up for cutting out those most amazing Dr’s and Nurses we have, and getting rid of them and adding trained chimps is cheaper. I should start a protest about no Chimps, just Dr’s and Nurses. None of you are with me are you?
I should also mention that the photograph is (c) www.signspotting.com as I don’t want a big scary webmaster coming to me saying “You stole an image we use which is in a public place and can be photographed by anyone!” It would get messy and I would send him a photo of my own which reads “Bollocks: With compliments” or something.
OK, so this wasn’t the best post I have done, but the next one will be something special! OK..OK…don’t hold me to that will you.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 