WAAAAY back a very long time ago, when this site was young, and had the occasional funny post, unlike the mash that I churn out these days in the name of trying to be funny, I wrote a post where I mentioned I had an issue with “style guru’s”. I also posted a picture of me with suncream on my head to show that I could look super awesome, and the “style guru” looked like an idiot. Should you want a mental refresh, or wish to live the hilarity (??) again, it was HERE.
I am of course still an icon of fashion. My look is still the “Sy, you still look like an idiot, but DAMN are you cute” fashion compared to the “You need to be shot” fashion of the aforementioned Gok Wang who I wrote about in the post. And then I got to thinking. That Git Wang has a thing going on here. For those lucky enough to have never ever ever EVER been subjected to his worthless BS he chucks about in the name of car crash TV, he does this fashion show where he basically gropes women. Simple as that. But it is OK….because he is GAY. Yeah, see what he did there? “Hellooooo laydeeee’s. The name’s Wang. Gok Wang. I am gay. Do you mind if I have a squeeze of your jiggly bits in the name of telling you what to wear?”. And they let him! So I gave it a go myself. See if it really works. I asked my wife if she mind if I had a cheeky squeeze. I am not going to say the words she said. They still hurt. So I guess he is just picking on the vulnerable. Much like my wife.
Anyway, enough of him. Lets talk about me. It is FAR more interesting.
During a freak head shaving incident, I decided it would be a giggle to give myself a mohican. This is because it was a friends birthday and I figured it would be fun to turn up and say “see, don’t feel bad about being old. It could be worse, you could look like this!” So I took it one step further. A mohican, and two weird little lines down the side of my head. I can tell you this for free…I am one goooood looking dude. There is not a blind woman in the world who will deny it. This is based on her not meeting me, talking to me, smelling me or being on the same continent as me. OK, so that included a few stipulations, but it would be wrong to “big myself up” too much. The truth hurts.
The lines on the side had to go. I was starting to look like THIS (the third picture along).
Instead, I ended up looking like this:
Calm yourselves ladies. I am a married man.
Come on, be honest. Did Mr T ever look this good in the A-Team? And he needed the bling. I am wrapped in a towel. Yup, I was naked. Doesn’t that just put you off of your lunch!
The picture was taken because on showing my wife my handy work, and then my new haircut, she did the wifely thing of laughing out loud and saying “Where is the camera!”. She stopped just shy of finishing the line with “because you look like a twat!”. Needless to say, the very next morning I shaved it off and am now back to my usual self.
Of course, there were pictures taken of me with the side bits still on because my wife is nice like that. She is a woman, who just after one of our kittens fell in the bath and came out looking like a drowned rat, she laughed quite hard and got the camera. Ignoring the fact the poor little guy was soaking the floor.
People question my mental unstableness. I think people need to have a chat with wifeyo.
I will of course post the other picture if you ask nicely. Oh, and new readers who don’t comment leave me one. Yup, basically…ya never ever gonna see it people! It is going to stay in the Mr and Mrs Sy family album. Boy is my daughter going to be one lucky girl. Wouldn’t you want a father like me?! You know what…don’t answer that.
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