I feel bad writing this post. I have friends who are vegetarians. And I have no problem with vegetarians (well…). I just enjoy having a go at vegetarians. Thus:
Are you a vegetarian? Do you actually remember if you are a vegetarian? Have you committed mass lettuce murder? The chances are that you don’t remember. This is because being a vegetarian and having that “holier then thou” attitude like a couple that I know is actually because you don’t remember your heinous crimes against vegemanity.
That chances are that after you committed the murder of tearing from the ground that poor lettuce or carrot or whatever else was grown in a big pile of stuff that came from the rectum of a horse, that you tucked in to a nice tofu burger. Or added Soy milk to your tea. And calmly looked at the world with a disapproving eye.
Had you not read the signs up everywhere when you were a kid? Soyvent abuse can kill. It can kill because you forget who you are and you might do something stupid (like being a vegetarian?)
Between you and me, I squeeled like a piggy who was just named prize piggy in the Piggy-Go-Lucky carnival fair and won a prize of free sausages for life when I read THIS story (on a serious note, dont read it all, it is all about Alzheimer’s which is a sad thing, but I only needed the first paragraph to write this post!) which has the greatest start ever to a news article ever when it says:
Eating high levels of some soy products – including tofu – may raise the risk of memory loss.
Of course, I believe that the occasional vegetarian uses it to their own advantage, and chows down on a steak and then conveniently forgets all about it while snorting soyvents out of the packet and going on a winter wonderland trip to Brocolliville in their head while downing shots of soy milk.
Remember and live by this slogan: JUST SAY NO! to being a Vegetarian. Do not fall to peer pressure.
Eat Meat. Be Normal. It makes you attractive to the opposite sex.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 