Wow. I have completed a huge FIVE posts this month. Craziness. I need to slow down before you are all overloaded with amusing posts. *cough* So on with number six. Calm yourselves!
Not sure where this post will take me. I have no plans at all for it, but I have some time between changing nappies and being vomited on, so I figure I should add another tasty morsel to the site. I hope you have no sense of taste though, as this morsel could be about as bland as it gets! My advice? Add salt. And MSG.
If you are MSG intolerant, I recommend adding it anyway, as you will get to kill the time running to the toilet. Chances are that you will find it more amusing!!
Now. After the cow beauty pageant in the last post, I then read about a nun beauty pageant. But then the religious dude thing man type fellow decided to withdraw it after the snotty higher religious dudes type blokes said it was not tasteful. Not tasteful? Come on. You would have the “Habit round” where they all show off their habits. And then the…erm…habit round. Where they show off the spare habit that they have. I wouldn’t make a habit of watching this to be honest.
Holy hell. “I wouldn’t make a habit of watching this”?? Geez. What is this site coming to!
Anyway. A nun pageant. Never going to work. The bikini round wont happen, they don’t have udders like the cow beauty pageant and well…Nun’s…you just don’t look at them that way. Something about that God bloke. Not sure. I am not religious. But either way, I don’t see it happening.
Now a beauty pageant involving pygmies. THAT is the way forward. Points for size would be order of the day. And on a short read up, it seems that people eat them, so points for flavour too. They could have a bikini round, and I am pretty sure they all want world peace, so will pass the interview round with flying colours.
Of course, it could be a lot worse. According to THIS news story,
A 90-year-old woman saw her dreams come true when she was served fish and chips by a man dressed only in a thong and a see-through apron.
Now, fortunately there are no pictures, but the very happy old lady was quoted as saying
“I thoroughly enjoyed my fish and chips served by the half naked man.”
Half naked? He had just a thong on! Or maybe he was a pygmy and so the thong really was half the size of his body? And did lots of old women clap, say “oooohh….loook!” like your excited Nan and then go and play bingo after the event? Or maybe the 90 year old was so happy, this became her last meal. I wonder what would have happened if she had ordered the sausage?
Maracas, Denzel Washington, Parsnip, Budgerigar “Dick Zoltie”, “Damp Patch”, “Smoky Bacon”, “The Whisky A Go Go”, “That’ll Leave a Mark” (I should mention that these words were not of my creation, but a very good friend threw them at me)
Or just give me your own! The weirder the better otherwise you will get a story about a sheep called Raymond who lives in switzerland or something. That just is not going to be fun. And remember…I am below par intelligence, so no words too difficult please.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 