A British man (yeah, us Brits rule!) has the record for having more Lego than anyone else in the world. (I bet the makers of Lego would have something to say about that, as I am pretty sure they have more, but who am I to question.) He has over two million bricks, and no life. He is also 32. I am 33 and when I compared the differences between me and him, I was happy to find out that I am pretty much the greatest person I ever met. He came a very distant third and quite a distance behind “the rest of the world”.
His wife, a person who enjoys feeling parts of and sticking her hand inside animals (or a vet if you please) doesn’t like his collection. Although I am willing to bet that he never complains when she brings her work home with her. Of course, bringing her work home would involve having puppies in the house, so I guess this entire paragraph is a waste of time.
What bothers me is that he spends all day on Internet forums talking to other Lego fans. So this got me thinking:
Just what the hell are they talking about?
So I did some research. I went to one of these “forums of geekness” and had a look.
Boy was I not even mildly surprised. The forum I found was at www.LegoUsersBrickIt.com/NoLife/ForumsOfNerd and below is part of a thread I found: ***
User “LegoLoverLovesLego” said in a thread called “I’ve got big bricks and I can not lie, no other bricks get made from the same die” (which personally I think he ripped from the popular albeit crap song I like big butts) started with:
“I have a yellow brick with 6 dots on top and hollow on the bottom. I can then get the same size brick again and attach it! What do you have?”
This was replied to by “TheLegoLogoLooksLovely” who said:
“Wow! Ah man, you are so supremely awesome! Have you got it in blue too? My bricks only have the 4 dots on them and are smaller. You are the man!”.
Then “IHaveNoLife” replied:
“I have a Lego airport and I made a runway and everything, but my Lego plane wont fly. Why do you think that is?”
i stopped reading at this point because frankly…I was scared. Who are these people? Do they have a special club, or go to a club for special people? Do they spend their spare time scouring the shops for bricks they don’t have and then when they find some, they use their mobile phone to connect to the forum and put a post up while filling the incontinence pants they are wearing to contain their excitement? And if you turn on the accessibility tools and have it read out the posts for you, will the voice have a distinctly nerdy nasal tone to it? If not, I think Microsoft need to develop this function.
So there you have it. On reading the profiles of several users, I was less than shocked to find that they were all single, or had fetishes saved for sites that most countries like to try to make illegal.
*** OK, so I may have made the forum and all of that conversation up, and if the user names actually exist, I apologise. Except when I say “I apologise”, I actually mean “Dude…you need to get out more! Heed my warning…you will die lonely”.
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