According to the bit of paper I have in front of me labelled “Blog Stuff to write about”, I have to write about an erection. I cant see why I would have thought that, but last night I did have a tipple or 233. Ohh…hang on…*scratch* *scratch* A-ha! It was coffee. I actually wrote eLection. Ah yes. As I read more of my childlike handwriting, it seems I wrote notes as a running commentary of the election last night as seen through the eyes of me. An Englishman. In England. I also see that I wrote a note to myself saying “You’re a doofus” although that looks like the handwriting of my wife. I seem to have also drawn a stick man peeing up a wall.
So anyway. You all know how you saw it, this is how I saw it. Times are in GMT.
11pm – OK, lets get Sky News on the go. Channel 401…oh hang on, Family guy is on! Yeah lets watch that instead. That Stewie! Comedy gold!
11:30pm – A second episode! Awesome! I should probably check out any incomming results though. Actually, lets have another beer.
Midnight – Oh yes. That is what I am talking about. Freeview “adult” material. Oh, I mean “Whisky”.
1am – Huh! Now there is something different. McCain just won a Kentucky. I am thinking Mega Bucket rather than one of those easy 3 piece meals. And now I want KFC. I think it is great that our American cousins also vote for their favourite fast foods. Or was it a scratch card win? “Match 3 similar voters to win the meal of your choice!” maybe?
1:45am – OK, getting hungry now. I hope no one wins BK. That would be torture.
2am – Fine. Marmite sandwich it is.
2:15am – Mouth. So. Dry. Need more drink. Marmite too dry. OK, I should check up on the voting I guess.
2:30am – Oh, it seems Obama had a dodgy take away as he has won Penicillin on his scratch card.. Hang on…I think that is my handwriting. Ooohh…yeah, he won Pennsylvania. So close.
3am – I should go to bed really. Actually, yeah, I will. Except that my daughter just woke up and is now a 3 month old highly interested in what is going on. Armed with a bottle of beer and a bottle of breast milk, we settle down back in front of the TV.
3:05am – Ugh…wrong bottle. How does she drink this stuff? I mean, I am a man and therefore I enjoy the pleasures of the female form…especially the fun bits my wife has, but geez…there was NO need to drink that. I guess now I now know how she feels when I pressure her.
4am – OK, so the beers are going down very well now. In other news, it seems everyone is already saying Obama is as good as done. Well, with that in mind I look at the map of the USA. What did you guys do? Start off seriously drawing distinct lines and really working on the states from the east and then got bored and got a ruler and pen out and started drawing straight lines so you could get to the pub quicker the further west you move?
5am – Holy crap I am tired. Well, it looks like the guy with more votes has won it, and I should have just gone to bed rather than follow something that was a lot less exciting than the finish to the F1 grand prix on Sunday as that waited until the last 2 corners to be decided unlike this where the other dude should have given up hours ago.
6am – Ahhh…what a moving speech. It really tugged on the heart strings. No, not the Obama one, the one my wife just made about me being an idiot for staying up all night. Obama’s was nice though huh.
I have the munchies. All that breast milk really has given me the nibbles. Oh well, at least kiddie is asleep…for now.
Hmmm, well that was maybe not the insight that you wanted, but that is all I could give based on my notes.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 