I thought twice about posting this. The only reason I am posting it is because I haven’t the time to write anything else at the moment. Yeah, I am that nice!
Anyway, a little background. It was a quiet day at the office. Things were humming along like a hummy thing. There was then an email conversation which had started with a lunchtime conversation about giving someone who deserves it, a bit of a beating…and then this happened:
I tender for your approval, a small collection of Haiku. I apologise in advance, but we were having a very childish moment, so if bowel movements and poems about topping someone aren’t your thing…prepare for disappointment! (Oh, and I know that Haiku in English is generally a 3 line poem, so don’t go getting indignant on me. OK?)
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Neil – Silent Sleep
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loathing, disgrace, a rope
everything is quiet now.
everything is better
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Sy – The sweet release
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My desk. Sitting.
Internet. Porning.
Surf with one hand. Shifting
Release. sweet release
embarrassing.
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Service Call
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all selected, all acknowledged
closure, no fault found
calendars consulted
it will probably be alright
a life wasted. no fault found.
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Sy – Weak master of none
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The smell. Overbearing.
Visitor enters the room.
Light choking. Gaseous overload.
Thud. Fainting. Head in urinal.
Piss on head. Weak master of none.
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Neil – Autumn
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evacuated, unexpected blood
no clot,twigs, glee, recovery could happen
a trace of a smile, waiting
the smile passes, like time
this can gather no moss
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Sy – Cubical Penguin
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The splash. The mess
The smell. The relief of release
No paper. No cleansing
Penguin to other cubical
All better now.
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Neil – The Silent Scream
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rumbling, squeaking, inevitability
an anxious face
cleaner concerned
gas gas GAS!
the silent voice of a toilet, help me
but there can be no help
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Sy – Red Hate
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Blood. Carpet. Red
Hate and Disgust
Glad it is over.
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Neil – Justice
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bang Bang!
bang
break, Crunch
Ouch
Its all over. Now.
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Sy – Hammer love
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Big Hammer Little Hammer.
Smashy smashy smash.
The quiet is deafening.
And that ends the small selection of haiku. I wont even contemplate posting the other conversation that was had! Some things are best left as an IM conversation. Should you feel mentally unstable as to want to read it though, drop me an email (it’s in the About page) and I will send you it.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 