It was just a typical morning. You were standing there having a bit of a wash and then you slip.
Falling quickly, you grasp for something to hold on to.
You grab your knees.
In hindsight, not the obvious best choice to grab under the circumstances. And then this happens:
Yup, you attach the sink tap to your eye.
Or you do if you are a Chinese man, anyway. I think he deserves the award for partaking in excessive personal hygiene. I mean honestly…use a cloth or something to wash! If you think it is dirty, get a NEW cloth. This just isn’t rocket science is it… Or maybe he took the saying “Even packed the kitchen sink” a little too far?
At one point in the news story one family member is quoted as saying:
“It was so scary, there was blood spouting everywhere,”
Well turn the frigging tap OFF! How the hell did they live this long without such basic knowledge?!?
They then took an x ray because…ummm…maybe they couldn’t spot the tap or something? I don’t know. I mean, there it is. It is in his eye! But I guess they just took delivery of a shiny new x ray machine and decided it was time to give it a run. What did they see?
Does anyone else notice what I see? No, not the tap stuck in his eye which resembles a Dr getting carried away with his artistic skills with a bottle of tip-ex (white out for my North American cousins) on an x ray.
The other 3 things. There is a cursor arrow and a blue x inside his head and a squiggly thing to the right of his forehead. Now OK, the squiggly thing is outside so that is OK, but the arrow… somewhere in the world, someone has a mouse that when they move it about, that arrow drives him crazy. And the blue x… I don’t even want to think about. Although I am wondering how big the x ray was because the more I think about it, the more I think I will see an alien anal probe.
I had a similar experience to this once too. No, not the anal probe. The getting things painfully stuck.
I was enjoying a perfectly good session of inserting my finger in my nose and it actually got stuck! You see, I have a problem whereas when I get aroused, my nostrils actually shrink in size. It’s true! Google it! and so during my clearing out session, I saw a monkey de-licing another monkey on the nature channel. 45 minutes I was sat there trying to get my finger out. In the end I just thought really hard about a cucumber covered in olive oil and the British Prime Minister…and some kind of alien anal probe. Luckily that did the trick. Made me ill as all hell though. I didn’t eat for 2 days.
Yup, me and tap dude are like two peas in a pod.
Save yourself some time with googling the nostril thing. I put the link HERE for you. Yes I know. I AM thoughtful.
Photos taken from the news story. If you think I stole them and want them removed, ask nicely and pay me £200 to prove you really mean it.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 