During a nice break from that work thing tonight (I would say during my lunch break, but really…what do you call a break on a night shift?), I took an IQ test online. And then I took another one because I just didn’t believe the first one.
According to the two sites, I have an IQ of 136 on the first site and 137 on the second site.
And then I looked up on other sites what that IQ meant. It reckons that I am on the higher side of gifted. The average IQ is 100. Apparently. So after that, I looked up what IQ actually stands for.
Bollocks am I gifted! I am confident that 100% of you lot are more intelligent than that, which means just where are the below average people? Do they live underground, smell like macaroni and creep up through the manholes in the road in the early hours and steal all our underwear that we leave out? Honestly…How does this really work?
The only gift I have is that I don’t see many people, and that is more a gift to humankind than to me, and of deep regret to the guys I work with as they have to see me. Even my daughter has started napping more during the day since she started seeing me more frequently.
Higher than average IQ? I cant even count to 12 as I run out of appendages to use. I bought some toys for my daughter so we could both learn. Of course, to look like the good teacher, I have started early so it is easy to be able to teach her. I am having trouble. The star will just not fit the circle. Where the hell am I going wrong? No matter how hard I whack the brick, it just wont fit.
And this is true… I once had to change a light bulb, but the fitting was bayonet, and I had got a screw in bulb. I stared for ages trying to work out where the extra fitting must have fallen off and hit the floor to allow the bulb to screw in. OK, so I was drunk…but I don’t see that it makes a difference.
I would put my school grades on here as proof, but the key next to the letters G and the D isn’t working, so I cannot list my English and Math grades. The others? Well, lets just say they weren’t happy that a small child had taken the test instead of a 16 year old male. And almost 18 years after that, I am pretty sure I got dumber instead of smarter!
In fact, the one and only time a teacher at my school actually wanted me in their class was when I had accidentally found a way in to the network user admin program and during a little “If I change this, I will have my own user with full administrator permissions” fun, I locked out the teacher. Strangely, I found a career in IT the way forward!
I have alphabetti spaghetti for dinner to help me spell. And I didn’t get the nickname of Simple Simon because of my simply awesome good looks.
Oh, and just in case you think I am lying about the IQ thing, they give you a badge to use: (So click it and go take a test!)
Yup. I know. I even checked to see if there was a . between the 1 and the 3 because that would make a LOT more sense.
So what is up with the tests? Are we talking about the IQ of a goat? Because you know, when I came across the IQ test, I was actually looking for *cough* kinky goat outfits *cough*.
I am planning on taking the MENSA one tomorrow just to get back in that sub 100 bracket.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 