I got an email from John over at onlinecolleges.net who wrote THIS article on crazy college courses available in the US. He also told me that if I plugged his site, he would send me loads of beer. Now this sounds good, although I do think I may have made it up in a vain attempt at getting more beer for my exotic lifestyle of drinking far too much and eating all the wrong foods. But hey, ladies…he may be single, so if you are, hell I dunno…try getting me some goodies and have yourself a good time while you are there?
But back to the post rather than trying to matchmaker a date with a guy I never met with a reader that I never met… In at number 1 is a course called “The Strategy of Starcraft” at the University of California. As good an idea as this seems, I will go out on a limb here and say they should use World of Warcraft. Why? Well, I know someone (and no it really isn’t me as I have never played it!) that spends WAY too much time on it. The guy is constantly talking about his “Sword of Stupid” and his “Knife of Nerd” or maybe his “Gauntlet of Geek” and will help you pass first time by telling you that the exam question has the wrong answer and his is right. Yeah, he is the perfect woman for the job. He will explain why 1 + 1 = 6. It is good to have balance in life….and a bat to smack him with. If ignorance is bliss, so is the quiet when he finally shuts up.
Of course, should spending the day sat in a classroom with this person not make you want to end your life by dangling your wedding tackle in to a lions pit and then giving them a good shake while shouting “heeeeere kitty kitty kitty!”, then you can always go the alternative way of ending it all. You can go on the “Daytime Serials: Family and Social Roles” course at the University of Wisconsin which is also known as the “Long drawn out painful death” option.
As a side note, I had the pleasure of living in Wisconsin for 3 months many years ago. I visited “Simon’s Cheese Factory” in the hope I could get a fridge magnet saying “I’ve Tasted Simon’s Cheese” which I could give to ex girlfriends but it seems they already knew of my dodgy ploy to get dubious worded magnets and didn’t sell them. Of course, if I remember rightly, Simon’s Cheese Factory had the worlds biggest cheddar or something like that. Which you know…if you have to have a claim to fame, let it be that rather than being the worlds most stupidly annoying man…as per paragraph two.
But back to the course. Daytime serials? They are kidding right? Coz you know…WOW! How would that conversation go later in life?
“So Simon. Why do you think you are qualified to do this IT role?”
“Well, I didnt bother with an IT degree, instead I studied daytime TV shows. Go on ask me a question about anything to do with the brain abuse that is daytime TV!”
“Go away. SECURITY!!!”
It’s just not going to gel. OK, so now I know that someone is going to say “Nooo, but the course is actually about this and this”. Yeah I know, but that’s not as much fun to abuse. Work with me here people!
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