OK, so that last post was an April Fools thing which may have had some people not caring, and the rest thinking “Ha! Getting what he deserves!”. But in all seriousness, getting a post written for a blog that has readers from time zones 12 hours ahead and 10 hours behind… and is only valid until midday is just not that easy! But anyway…at almost 11pm UK time, I got a hit from…..
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So NOW I am expecting to get that letter! Should I insert grovelling apology here, or do you think they have a sense of humour?
Either way, lets do this post…
Every couple of weeks, either I or my wife takes our daughter to get weighed. So being that it is a clinic type place, there are a lot of other kids there. And a lot of mothers. And some of them don’t quite get the idea that breastfeeding is about feeding the kid, and not about showing the world your wares.
There I was, sat on a nice comfy chair awaiting our turn. Shawnee is sitting on my lap doing what she does. We are talking to the woman opposite about something or other…I really don’t know as I wasn’t paying any attention. Then all of a sudden, mid sentence, she hoiks up her top, takes off her bra and lets the kid chow down on lunch.
“It’s the most natural thing in the world” women say. And indeed, knowing my daughter did it, I agree. But you know…the kid only needs one at a time. SO PUT THE OTHER ONE AWAY! Nope. There it sat for all to see.
And then the kid decides to start playing with his lunch. So while munching away on one, he starts bouncing the other one up and down. In front of me.
There it sat. Bouncing. Wobbling. Then she started saying how much she liked my kiddies shoes.
Screw the shoes woman…put your breast away! The kid is not feeding anymore… he is making a milkshake.
And still the woman talks to me. My eyes staring at her eyes. Every blink getting longer and longer to try and take away the image. Still the kids plays. Bouncy bouncy. There was milk everywhere.
And then Shawnee spots what’s going on. You could see the reassuring memories of happier times rushing over her. She starts making her “I WANT THAT!” noise and starts reaching over. It all got very uncomfortable. For me anyway. The woman laughed. The kid continued to play with his food. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life.
I have had nightmares about it. The kid sitting there bouncing them up and down while she talked to me about…well…lets not carry on. I am starting to get weepy again.
Someone please explain to me the need for any of that. Yeah, the kid needs to eat. And yes it is indeed “The most natural thing in the world”. But so is peeing. Everyone does it via normal methods or attached bags. It happens. But if I was to stand in the middle of a group of women and drop my strides and relieve myself…just how is that going to end?
OK, so it is going to end with a lot of pointing, laughing a a law suit/criminal record. But you get my point.
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