Playing with the email scammers…part 2. This time it’s personal.

Posted bySyPosted inUncategorized

Well, after the fun of THIS post with the lovely sounding Sali, who wanted to share her millions of dollars with me but decided not to reply to my last email, I was less than impressed.  I mean, did the bloke running the scam work out I might be taking the pee when I emailed with:

Oh Sali. Your story warns my cockles like a moist match and a windy summers day.

Please. Tell me. Would it be too soon to talk marriage and dressing up in each others clothes? Infact, would it be too soon to ask you to send me an email telling me what you want to do in the bedroom…and I don’t mean that naughty sex thing, I mean can we talk colour schemes. 

I so look forward to talking to you again soon and we can talk monkey.  Just kidding.  I meant money.  Oh Sali, I am sooooo funny.
Until then, I am off to stare at your picture while I smear myself in honey and call your name out loudly for all to hear.

All my love forever my sexy beauty.  (oh, and you better not have a penis…I am soooo hot for you)

Nope, no reply at all.  Yeah I know…what a cow!  Oh well.  But that’s OK, because Maher Labib emailed me with a great deal about sharing a $30M fortune that is just sitting in an old bank account…as long as I supply all my bank details…and then send them money first.  I am so lucky.

Except that the person it belonged to was a bible translator…and I don’t like religion.  Well, not so much don’t like, more just don’t really care.  But in this case, I decided I should mention to them that I worship the devil for a giggle.  My reply:

For mentioning the bible in my temple of death, I hereby summon 200 Thokolosh to find you in your sleep in the next 60 days and bring your soul to hell for all eternity.

Because you know…why not.   He wasn’t happy.  Infact he shouted.  He also used more exclamation points then I do…and that is saying something.  His reply?  Well..

BE CONSUMED BY THE FIRE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT,YOU ANTI-CHRIST.FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
THE HOLY BIBLE IS LIFE AND WITH ORDERSITY OF FAITH,BE WHOLY ENGULFED BY THE THUNDEROUS FORCES OF THE DARK PART OF THIS LIFE,FIRE!!!!!!!
Yeah sure.  OK.  What is the “FIRE!!!!!!!!” bit about?  Was he typing and clay pigeon shooting at the same time?  A clever man indeed.  But I obviously upset him, and I know that to millions of people religion is an important part of life.  So being the nice person I am, I apologised the best I could with:
The forces of darkness come for you tonight heathen. Look under the bed
tonight…they come for your soul.

For every person you continue to try and scam money from with your christ
loving heathen bullshit will make every bone surrounding your soul crumble
more and more. Remember…tonight at midnight…they come.

He didn’t reply, which I think is very rude considering I apologised.  Maybe he will reply back tomorrow.  You know, if he is still alive and the Thokolosh doesn’t come for him.
Either way, I feel naughty.  I shouldn’t be rude to people trying to steal other people’s money.  I am no better.  Oh, sorry…yes I am.
(Go HERE to find out what a Thokolosh is.  You know, if that’s what you do.  Hell, Google it if you want!  It’s your time afterall.)

Published by Sy

You want to know about me? Really? Nah, you don't.

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