It’s always the same. You are great friends with someone and then one day you have an argument, pull down his trousers and bite a chunk of his penis off.
Because obviously why wouldn’t you? I mean if you want to get violent, why stick to the punching and kicking when you can instead yank your mates trousers down for a little alternative sausage action?
But this is what actually happened. In Poland (naturally).
But at least being a true friend, he swallowed it. That or he is an awesome player of the “hide the bitten off piece of penis” game, as they couldn’t find it anywhere. But then, how do you explain what you are looking for?
“OK everybody. We are looking for the end of a guys penis.”
And then someone is going to ask “How big is it?”
Which is going to lead to the ongoing lie about him thinking he was way better endowed than he was. This is a natural response obviously because all of us blokes lie about that. I as an example just a few years ago told a perspective partner that I was incredibly impressive “down there”, because I figured I had no chance. We are now married and she often refers to me as “The lying little git”.
But back to the Polish man and his best friend.
Over the row about a trailer (it’s ALWAYS about a trailer in these penis removing fights isn’t it!) he was quoted as saying
‘He began hitting me with a chain and then pulled down my trousers and started biting. It was agony’
Really? Agony? Having someone bite down as hard as they can on the little guy would result in agony? Him actually feeling the need to even say that line makes as much sense as the car insurance website I went to and at the end of the online quotation it asked as a final question “So what brought you to the site today?”
A CAR INSURANCE QUOTE YOU IDIOTS! Honestly, what the hell. It’s not going to be because I have a mole on my arse cheek and I want to know how to remove it now is it? Which I don’t have…honestly. Stop it. No.
So there you have it. Car insurance quotes websites ask stupid questions, and you can never be sure when your best mate is going to feel the need to chow down on your joy department. You women are luckier than you realise. Unless of course you are now dating Mr Milczarek of Lesna in South West Poland who is unlikely to be entering in to any sexual relations with a woman anytime this side of death. It is thought he may well be able to get stiff a few hours after death though.
Original news story HERE for those who feel the need. The photo at the top of the page was taken from…erm…hmm…I dunno, I closed Google Images a while ago. Usual rules apply, if it is your photo…congratulations on your sausage photography abilities and ask nicely for me to remove it.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 