It never ceases to amaze me what I find in the list of keywords that find this site. Granted, everyone searches for it for a reason, but take this one for instance:
can sniffer dogs smell dogs in my arse
Huh? There must be an easier way to smuggle Chihuahua’s and Great Danes in to other countries. So how would that work? Some sniffer dog runs up and to identify the offender, he mounts him from behind and goes at it? Coz you know…I think I had a stash of dogs in my leg not so long ago if that is anything to go by.
But then you get things like this:
potatoes and jelly up your ass x-ray
Why!! Why would someone be looking for this? (more should be asked how does that reach this site!) Each to their own and all that, but Jelly? Potatoes? And then I have to ask… What Jelly? In the UK jelly is different to the US. So is it jam or the contents of an jelly and ice cream party? And what happened to the ice cream? What flavour was it? I fear it wasn’t vanilla. These questions need answering!
Maybe they are searching out a role playing game gone wrong such as this one:
she got me drunk then tied me up
Is he bragging? Does he want the world to know? In that case, I may as well confess something. I only own 4 pairs of socks! Yup, you heard it here first folks! And I bet you are also wondering:
what happens when blokes go out
What are they expecting to find in an answer here? I am confident that the answer isn’t “buy dresses, shoes and handbags” but may involve “get drunk, eat junk food, fall over, fight like an angry ballerina with a hernia”.
I have to wonder about the fascination with people searching the word “penis”. Take these for example:
call and talk about your penis
chimpanzee penis pictures
do female puppies have penis like objects
fun stuff that you could do with your penis
today i went crazy and inserted several round objects in my urethra
Why is your penis better than a credit card?
Where do I start! Lets start at the top. Who do they want to call? I am not going to call them. I write enough about it on this £20 a year website. I don’t need to incur call costs now too! And if someone has to ask what fun stuff you can do with your penis…well…it’s not going to have the answer of “play scrabble” is it? Was it asked by a 10 year old? Has he even got a credit card? Because trust me…sometimes the credit card is more fun.
An example of this was when I went shopping for groceries. At the checkout, I said “I don’t have my wallet on me…will you take a penis imprint? It’s guaranteed working as you can tell by my daughter being here!”, but I got escorted off of the premises…with no groceries.
And why the fascination with inserting objects into the fun department? Inserting a doughnut in my mouth…Yes. Inserting money in to little Sy…I think not.
So I guess I mention the word penis too often on this site because of the sheer amount of hits I get for that word alone. It’s lucky I never mention my drink problem is it:
lets get drunk so i can take advantage of you
something to say when you want get drunk
Why the second one? Surely the blatant answer is “Can I have a beer please”. Or do they have some secret code so when you want a drink you say “Lest we forget the blue cabbage in the red packet singing the song about cleaning windows”. But then, if that is the answer…they need a drink.
I have also noticed that sex-ed is lacking in parts of the world. Take this for example:
what illness can you get when you do not have sex
That’s a heck of a long list! Why not ask “Am I stupid?” and I am sure you will end up at this site too. Although if you want to use a credit card to order a pizza you will end up here as this shows:
will paddingtons pizza take credit card? which brings you to this page: http://www.wheelturninghamsterdead.com/2008/10/14/so-paddington-bear-didnt-have-the-guts-well-i-do/
But when all is said and done, it is NOT safe to go back in to the water as this search result shows:
dolphins killing people while having sex
Is this a search term…or a warning? Do they know something that I don’t? Is this some kind of Natural Born Killers thing? That’s the last time I go to sea world. So it seems that dolphins are friendly…until they decide it is time to procreate, and then they go insane and kill the humans! Screw it. Get me a tin of tuna…and I don’t mean the “friendly” stuff.
Although how can you call it “dolphin friendly”? Why not say “It’s OK, no dolphins were hurt in the making of this tuna, we just murdered some defenseless fish!” instead? Must be a packaging thing.
Now. Where did I leave my hermaphrodite puppy?
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 