I am hoping this site doesn’t turn in to “Adventures in ExerciseLand”, but at the moment…that is about all I do. Well, that and abide by the not going within 400ft of Megan Fox. I don’t understand why the court were so harsh. So I sent her a token of my love. In some cultures, roadkill is seen as a good luck charm. But not her. Noooo…Miss Stuffy took me to court. Typical.
So instead I decided to carry on that damn exercise thing I have been doing. And on Sunday I had another 10K race.
I wont bother going in to how it went because…well…you don’t care. But what you might care about is the bit of me that was attacked with a cheese grater. Or that there was a man dressed as a large pair of testicles (or was it just a reality TV star? I mean reality TV stars are about as much use as testicles are to a…hmmm…married man?)
Yes, in blisteringly cold wet and windy weather, I put on those ridiculously short shorts that us people wear and did the race.
But I had not worn these shorts to run outside yet.
And the rubbing action of me and my fat stubby legs getting some flesh on flesh action made me a little sore. Down there.
And by “down there”, I don’t mean in Slovakia.
I don’t understand why. I train 6 nights a week and no sore bits. Well, apart from my muscles saying “Give up…this is getting really old already!”. So why the shorts done this to me I don’t know. But.
At the end of the race as I walked along, I thought “hang on…what the hell…” and realised that while I was not looking, someone had come along and played with the squishy soft bit on the inside of my legs. It looked and felt like my wife had found out about my cheese fetish and had gone to town with something that the makers of Brillo pad would patent.
I was going to take a photo to show you, but you know…there are people under the age of 100 that read this site, and they don’t need to see my sweaty grated inner bits. Plus, when I was taking the photo, my wife walked in the room and asked me what the hell I was doing.
Trying to explain that I am trying to take a photo of my inner thigh without getting the twins in the shot was starting to become hard work. Especially as I was bent over, nuts in one hand, camera in the other…well, you have a think about it. If you can come up with a suitable excuse, let me know. She still isn’t talking to me. It didn’t help that she saw my Internet history and had seen that I had been to www.hairylovespuds.com/upload – A site which is NOT what you are thinking. It is about those crazy potatoes that people find in bags they buy in the shops that look like they have hair. But you try explaining that to a woman who had walked in the room to question my browsing habits and saw what she saw.
Ummm…I also don’t know if that link in the previous paragraph works or not. I made it up…but if you read this at work, as I am at the moment…don’t click it. If it exists, that could appear in your search history. And saying “Oh, but I clicked it in a post about a man taking a photo of his sore inner leg while trying not to get his testicles in the way!”…well, it isn’t going to end well for you. Is it now. Exactly.
In unrelated while being completely related news…. The updates may be even LESS frequent from now on. I got accepted to do the London Marathon in April. So I have a LOT of training to do in order to do it in the 3 hours 30 minutes I want to do it in. So I might set up another site in the same “silly” style as this, but based purely on the training. If you want to read it…if I even do it…let me know. I wont be advertising the site on here.
If you want to see the dude dressed up as the love spuds, go to http://gallery.sussexsportphotography.com/gallery.tlx?containerid=112951 and you can look it up yourself. If you want to see the pictures of me…What number was I? I will give you a clue. Between 1000 and 2000. Good luck with finding me then! The prize for the person that finds me is the gift of wasting all of that time you cant get back!
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 