According to the stats for the site, I get a lot of hits everyday for people searching for “vegetarian memory loss”.
Who is searching for this? How do they know they have memory loss if you cant remember what you were looking for in the first place? Are people very forgetful or are they just attention seeking?
“I cant remember what I was going to say”. “It was probably your usual boring crap then”.
And why are so many people searching for memory loss related to vegetarians? Is it the same person who has the memory of a goldfish and continually puts the same search term in to google and ends up reading the same post on my site (which incidentally is to do with vegetarians. And memory loss. Go figure.) Are they a vegetarian? Do I care?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not against vegetarians as much as the next guy. What do they have against vegetables that they feel they must rip them from the ground and eat them? That is why I eat chicken. And beef. They aren’t in the ground growing. Hell, with the right appliance (say…a gun) I can stop a bird flying. It isnt in the ground growing. It is trying to escape the world. I am doing it a favour by eating it.
Although back to the memory loss. There is one time when memory loss is a real inconvenience. When you wake up from a really weird dream. And think “What the…” and then it starts to fade away and you can’t remember it. OK fine, and not remembering where you put your keys, car, children. That is also a little inconvenient. But the dreams…far more important.
I am currently recovering from an interesting bout of flu. Not that “Man flu” that women think exist (it doesn’t…we do actually get more ill than you but you enjoy moaning so much you need to find a way of making it more about you than us) but actual proper can’t stand up, kick you in the backside and wish you were dead, flu. And for a while things got a little delirious. I slept for a couple of days in a row and had 2 recurring dreams. Which I can’t fully remember.
One was that I needed to share some money out between 3 people. Myself and 2 others. Who were the other 2 people? No idea. Why was I sharing it out? No idea. How many times did I dream this over and over? No idea. I hope that covers any questions about the dream for you. It was annoying. And not in that “Why cant I remember” way, but in that “What a stupid dream…it made no sense and made me more like I should be checked for autism than for flu”. What is my brain trying to tell me in that dream? It would have been just as useful to dream of a duck with a lisp who is trying to get an internship at a glue stick factory called “Sticky Stuff for Sticking Ltd” where he has aspirations of being head of the QC department and will have the title QC Services Centre Manager and he is worried he wont be able to pronounce his job to Mrs Duck when he gets home at night and tells her of his promotion. I just got nothing out of it at all.
The other dream I seem to remember a little more about. It was about my family. And lots of other people. And they were all being turned in to zombies.
But not zombies as you see in films.
They were being turned in to zombies that were Christmas characters. People turned in to zombie snowmen and elves and hunted around looking for people to also turn. And they all had really sinister faces. That is, if you can have a sinister looking snowman. You have to wonder if he is sinister, misunderstood or just that his face is starting to melt.
They got my family. My daughters turned in to elves. My wife a snowman…well, maybe snow woman. In my dream I didn’t have the thought of checking for the existence of snowballs or snowboobs. But that is all I remember. I don’t remember actually why people were turning in to zombies. Nor why they stopped being zombies. I also don’t know if Santa was the main bad guy in the dream. That is why dreams suck.
I woke from the christmas zombie dream thinking that it should technically have been a nightmare. My family was being attacked afterall. Instead I thought “I should go see a Dr. This being ill thing isnt working out well for me.”
And I don’t believe people who remember all of their dreams. Nor do I trust them. You know the ones. They tell you every intricate detail of their dream from 4 days ago. How can you trust a person who remembers that level of subconscious detail? The chances are they have a little book and they write things about you in. How often you go to the toilet. What clothes you wear. And at night they sneak in your house and watch you sleep while occasionally stroking your hair and drinking the orange juice in the fridge. Yeah, that is where it goes…it isn’t you drinking more than you thought. It is that person sneaking in your house. And that is why some days your bed hair is worse than others. And they take cuttings of your hair and make their dinner with it. Seriously…this is true. People who remember dreams actually do this stuff. I read all about it in the “Things I make up for this site” book I have. Which co-incidently I wrote.
I have another dream on occasion but I find it is silly and dont even know why I am mentioning it on here. I dream I am being taken aboard a big spaceship where I am restrained and scared. Little green men put various probes in to places they shouldn’t go. I always wake up the next morning with a really sore arse, but I guess that is just my body remembering the dream.
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