Author Archives: Sy

Dear site.  It’s been 691200 seconds since my last post and I have a confession.  I finally have a bit of quiet time to actually be able to write a post! But first…a drink.  Sparkling water.  It’s not beer, but it’s the way I fly these days. Now.  Where was I?  Ah yes.   I readContinue reading “She’s already had the kid. Lose the fat tubby!”

It is nearly that time of the year when we have the local government elections over here in Blighty.  That means two things: 1 – I really don’t care and 2 – Oh my god I don’t care! Because they are all as bad as each other.  Well, kind of.  Some are a little…well, lets justContinue reading “Vote Justice Party for complete stupidity”

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago.  In it I was told that I would die last Monday.  Luckily, I am still here.  Unlike this site which with the updates I have done recently are leading into a slow and painful death.  I may speed it up soon though.  The death of theContinue reading “Don’t use too much embalming fluid, I won’t fit in to my funeral outfit.”

It never ceases to amaze me what I find in the list of keywords that find this site.  Granted, everyone searches for it for a reason, but take this one for instance: can sniffer dogs smell dogs in my arse Huh?  There must be an easier way to smuggle Chihuahua’s and Great Danes in to other countries. Continue reading “Did you hear about dolphins killing people while having sex?”

Continuing from the last post about Travis the challenged SatNav…. Yes, poor Travis the SatNav with a female voice was not only confused vocally, (s)he was also as damned hormonal as you can get. I am confident that when they created him, they took as much sarcasm and cynicism as they could and plonked itContinue reading “Travis the SatNav of Dooooom – Part 2”

I am back.  After my very long hiatus…ok, so a little over a week…of driving around small country roads on holiday, I return.  I can hear the fanfare in the distance.  Sounds like someone is having a party.  I wish I was invited.  Instead I am writing this for you.  And do you appreciate it? Continue reading “Travis the SatNav of Dooooom – Part 1”

I may have to change the name  and location of this site.  It will be hosted by Afterlife Enterprises and to get there you just need to go to your local voodoo store and grab a ouija board.  OK, so the updates will be a little slow because they are spelt out letter by letter, but atContinue reading “Ouiji Board Turning, Sy Possibly Dead”

Do you remember when you were a kid (or maybe you are still?) and you went to a party and got given a party bag at the end?  It was almost always the same.  You would get a whistle, a chewy sweet and maybe one of those bottles where you take out the lid and blowContinue reading “I have given you a bag of crap. Be happy!”

  It’s always the same.  You are great friends with someone and then one day you have an argument, pull down his trousers and bite a chunk of his penis off.  Because obviously why wouldn’t you?  I mean if you want to get violent, why stick to the punching and kicking when you can insteadContinue reading “We are all friends here, so have a bite of my sausage.”

And part two of the last post.  In case you are new to the site and cant be bothered to read the post previous to this, the words in the ” ” are quotes found in the list of keywords used in Google to find this site.  The rest…that’s just me being rude/obnoxious/sexy/awesome…delete as appropriate.   Now,Continue reading “More fun with Search Engine Results – Part 2”