Author Archives: Sy

“Hello, emergency services? I have a penis ring stuck on the little dude”.

I have never pretended to be innocent.  Hell, once I swore in front of my teddy bear!  We don’t talk much anymore since the incident.  He took it kinda seriously.  All I asked him was “So. You really shit in the woods then?” and he totally lost it.  Yeah, crazy crazy days.  So because ofContinue reading ““Hello, emergency services? I have a penis ring stuck on the little dude”.”

Abusing Search Engine Results….Because I Can.

Here we go again in the fun series of abusing the search engine results.  As always (because I am not original enough to change the format), the words in the ” ” are real search engine results as told to me by my stat counter.  Don’t believe me?  Go to google and type em inContinue reading “Abusing Search Engine Results….Because I Can.”

There is zero chance she is going to be sucking on my breast thankyouverymuch.

Once in a while, someone says something that makes you glad you aren’t a pygmy in the middle of some very hungry rebels.  In my case, I was indeed not a pygmy, although I have enough “extra ballast” sitting around my midriff that would feed a whole army of rebels for a good meal orContinue reading “There is zero chance she is going to be sucking on my breast thankyouverymuch.”

Excuse me sir…is that a fish swimming up your penis?

I am thinking of changing the name of the site to “The wheel may be turning, but someone stuck something foreign in their body”.  Or something like that.   I hadn’t really given much thought to it.  But it just seems that most of the recent posts have been regarding people inserting foreign objects in toContinue reading “Excuse me sir…is that a fish swimming up your penis?”

According to internet sites, I am gifted.

During a nice break from that work thing tonight (I would say during my lunch break, but really…what do you call a break on a night shift?), I took an IQ test online.  And then I took another one because I just didn’t believe the first one.  According to the two sites, I have an IQContinue reading “According to internet sites, I am gifted.”

Alcohol makes sure the tick goes in the right direction.

I like Australians.  I mean it.  Yeah, OK…I hate them for their sporting abilities and how they hurt my good old English boys every chance they can, but apart from that, I always thought they were good people. Until today when my feelings changed. They changed when I decided that they are freaking awesome. InContinue reading “Alcohol makes sure the tick goes in the right direction.”

You have a little something on your eyelid.

It was just a typical morning.  You were standing there having a bit of a wash and then you slip. Falling quickly, you grasp for something to hold on to. You grab your knees.  In hindsight, not the obvious best choice to grab under the circumstances.  And then this happens:   Yup, you attach theContinue reading “You have a little something on your eyelid.”

When I said “Shove it up your…”, I didn’t mean literally…

I have read tonight about two individuals that were admitted to hospital with bizarre objects inserted where the sun doesn’t shine.  And I don’t mean in my heart where the clouds overpower me every day.  God I feel so sad and lonely.  Now, where was I… ohhh yeah… Now I know this is nothing new, and has happenedContinue reading “When I said “Shove it up your…”, I didn’t mean literally…”

University courses in Taiwan seem like fun.

I read tonight that a university in Taiwan has a course to teach it’s students how to appreciate and analyse porn movies.  They mention that more than 50 students had registered for the course.  Not mentioned was the longest queue in living history for people to sign up for a course. I am sure youContinue reading “University courses in Taiwan seem like fun.”