Author Archives: Sy

False advertising.  What a wonderful thing.  Just from watching the TV tells me I can look 30 years younger by rubbing something on my face which has a fancy name, but is probably the inside of a pigs intestine or something like that.  “Pentapeptides” the adverts say.  Does anyone know what they are?  To be honest, IContinue reading “And they can also help you grow a second head!”

23rd July @ 6am – In a very pleasant slumber, my wife starts playing with my feet.  I enjoy this.  She never does it.  Because my feet smell of cheese?  Maybe.  Because my feet are as ugly as the love child of George Bush and Gordon Brown after a night on the absinthe?  Well, they aren’tContinue reading “Like a series of 24, but it’s 25 hours long. And no guns.”

Have any of you got a guinea pig?  Or maybe two?  Or maybe the two you did have, got their freak on, and now you have 10.  You know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Well, not until they reach puberty and go out buying dresses for lunch with friends.  Just the other day I took Papa andContinue reading “Just don’t order the leg.”

Did you do much?  Maybe you went and had a little look at Don’s site and had a bit of a giggle.  Then again, maybe you rented a movie, and then had a chat with Jim about it?  Maybe?  Maybe you just went to Mrs T’s house and talked about the virtues of being aContinue reading “So how was your day?”

I have an idea which has probably been thought up many times before, but I am claiming it based on me wanting to. Let me set the scene. It is Sunday, and we take a nice leisurely drive out to do a few things.  I got to drive along urban roads, motorway’s and dual carriageways. Continue reading “It must be Sunday. Lets all drive like idiots!”

I read a ridiculous news story that says that you can lose weight by remembering your last meal.  The idea is that you can “Think” yourself thin by thinking of your last meal.  How it works I am not sure… I got bored.  The words “Scientists” and “are to be believed” in the same line/story/universe generallyContinue reading “Think, and it will happen…”

Sometimes you read something.  And then you read it again.  Then you laugh a little, and then you go bake a cake or something. Other times you read something and then say “What the hell?” and then go bake a cake.  Or something. This is a “What the hell” moment, but being at work, IContinue reading “Is it a full moon, or someone’s bare arse in the scrub?”

These are the adventures of the Starship KnickerSurprise and it’s ongoing journey’s to seek out new life and civilisations in places that just no man should be made to go…. *start Sesame Street theme tune* *stop Sesame Street theme tune as it is starting to annoy me* Captains Log:  Snorkdate 25,21,3,11.  We are nearing the vicinity of theContinue reading “Captains Log: Snorkdate 6.12.9.2.2.12.5”

I do.  Why?  Because I am smug like that.  It is all about me me me me meeeee.  I have an ego the size of a large thing, which means it is going to take many years to get to the end of it. So I am moving to Norway.  Kinda. Actually, I am moving toContinue reading “Who wants to live forever?”

In Britain, the home of the free (if you are foreign and want to come and get a house that us taxpayers pay for) we take political correctness to levels like you wouldn’t believe. Political correctness is a wonderful thing.  With a few exceptions.  These are: It is a stupid idea Things get messed upContinue reading “Land where you want. I can’t see you anyway.”