Author Archives: Sy

In possibly the worst news since Sonny turned to Cher and said “You know….I may be wrong, but I get the idea I may have a little bit of a violent side.  Lets find out!”, I can’t help wondering how the coffee percolator thing ran out of fiters, meaning I am nil by filtered coffeeContinue reading “And on the seventh day, he was blind and smelt like a horses arse.”

Happy new thing.  I hope that you have all made your new year resolutions and have accepted that 6 out of 4 resolutions are broken within an hour of making them. I only made 2.  1 is to be a better father (hell, I really can’t get any worse…) and 2 is to be aContinue reading “…And all that could have been but I never got around to doing.”

I love my kids.  I really do.  I tell people about them, I put photos up on Facebook and I don’t tell lies about them. Unlike some people. Yup, it is that time of the year again where we (regardless of faith…or in my case utter lack of it) celebrate the birth of some kid,Continue reading “2010 years later, they are still bloody going on about it.”

I live in a nice area.  There are trees, roads, some nice people and some complete and utter dumbwits thrown in for good measure.  It’s a real mix of normality through to dumbest individuals to crawl out of the primordial soup, strap on some baggy trousers and leave school at the age of 5. ForContinue reading “Careful…it’s a molotov lamppost.”

A couple of weeks ago, I got told I was incredibly and unbelievablya little grumpy and should really live in a cave.  This was said by a man wearing a pair of running tights that were so tight that it looked like they had been painted on to his legs…which were tied together.  I meanContinue reading “Look. Stop moaning and get back in your cave Sy.”

I have noticed that a lot of people that read this site use mobile phones.  iPhones, Android phones and even an Etch-a-Sketch.  I figured I should probably make things easier for those reading it by using a template that is smartphone friendly.  So if you are reading this on something more mobile than a tightContinue reading “I would make the change, but I am too busy stretching my cat.”

It’s been a while since I abused a news story.  Too many posts have been a little too “Me”centric recently.  Good news! In what can only be classed as first class journalism and not wasting the time of anyone’s day in reporting something so utterly pointless that you would be better off pulling your toenailsContinue reading “Yes I am sure it is impressive, but honestly…I think you’re an idiot.”

I have a problem.  Well, OK that opens us up to a friggin huge list of possible things ranging from being that I am as ugly as…erm…you…right through to the fact I am fairly confident that my ankles are shrinking.  No really, they are.  I noticed the other day.  There I stood in front ofContinue reading “That, my friend, is not a bouffant…it’s a slap in the face.”

I have a nemesis.  A cucumber to my sandwich so to speak.  Ah come on.  The stuff is bloody evil.  It is green to start with, and everyone who likes it says “But it doesn’t taste of anything!”  Well why the hell are you eating it then?  If a cardboard box didnt taste of cardboard,Continue reading “Ever seen an embryo run a marathon? Coming April 2011….”

A few weeks ago I lined up at the start of a 10K race.  A distance I have done many times.  Hell, it’s only 6.22 miles.  I have ran a marathon, so this race  Was just a quick out and back, smile at the waving children, be loved by the ladies and have the otherContinue reading “Ambulances. Like going in a Ferrari but you get to lay down.”