Author Archives: Sy

I changed jobs recently. Off to greener thingies and joined those crazy fools who commute. It’s fun. For now. Sure, come crazy middle winter time when I am standing on the train platform covered in rain or snow playing the “where the hell did my testicles go…are  they now hiding in my moobs which isContinue reading “The problem with commuting is the commuters. They’re friggin insane.”

Well.  It went and happened.  Daughter number 2 bounced (not literally…the hospitals here are quite awesome) in to the world on Monday morning. Yup, the young lady decided to wait until I had just finished a load of night shifts, had very little sleep and then made me stay up for 30+ hours.  Thanks kiddo.  But Braelyn’sContinue reading “Childbirth. It’s like squeezing a can of beer through a mouse. Only not.”

Look, I know I haven’t written on here for a while.  I have been busy.  Doing stuff.  And after doing a lot of this stuff, I have realised that I seriously need to man up.  Yes I know you have known this for a while.  No need to be pedantic now is there. It just took meContinue reading “I’m not a complete idiot…parts of me are missing.”

Yeah I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking “Ohh…the simpleton has put up a post an entire month since the last one!  It is going to be special!”.  Well…. There are a lot of things I hate.  Disappointing people is one of them. I also hate the fact that after many years ofContinue reading “…but I also like a lot of stuff. Like kittens and puppies and beer.”

I feel far too many posts have been about me and that goddamn marathon recently.  For that, I apologise.  So.  Back to the crazy we go. It has always been said that the Germans are a little on the crazy side.  When I say “It has always been said”, I actually mean “I am makingContinue reading “Stop meowing and say something original.”

I am alive!  The marathon didn’t kill me.  My date of death has been put back to…I dunno…when my heart stops?  So instead of telling you about how I died, lets just talk about a fun day. By fun, I mean a day where death seemed like the way forward! It started as many do. Continue reading “Any chance I can use that to grease myself up?”

Well, it is almost time for me to leave this mortal coil. No, I am not on death row, nor am I awaiting my uber dose of “man pills” to come through the post so I can be buried in a tent after having a heart attack during the 19th time in a row withContinue reading “Date of Death – April 25th 2010”

Back at around Christmas time, I got up from my nightly slumber and wandered in to the bathroom for my morning ritual of…well..it doesn’t matter.  But lets just say it involves a paint brush, dental floss, a copy of Hello magazine and some ginger nut biscuits.  After finishing my ritual, and being a little thirstyContinue reading “Put the baster away, this turkey is already cooked baby.”

A few days back, I attended a funeral.  Not the first one I have been to…and being that I am still alive, certainly not the last one I will go to.  Every cloud and all that. On the drive home, I did some reflecting (I was too busy listening to the music during the funeralContinue reading “He enjoyed eating cheese and wearing clothes”

Wow.  Almost a month since my last post.  In my defence, I have been busy. Just last week for instance, I realised I needed to cut my toenails, so I did that.  And then shave my armpits, chest, legs, arms…actually, I should probably mention that I have had a sex change.  I am now a female goatContinue reading “Stick a pin in me…i’m about ready to explode.”