Category Archives: General Madness

All I want for Lent is to give up.

It is that time of the year again. No, not where I start up this site again, I don’t have the time for that. This was ghost written in 2011 and set to post today. But the other time of year. Lent. Also known as AnotherreligiousthingthatIdontcareaboutbutIhatetomissapartysoIwanttotakepart or on twitter it is known as #attentionseeking butContinue reading “All I want for Lent is to give up.”

You can stay here and die…or I can give you a citation

I am back.  A bit of a wander to the US for some food, drink, fun…and chats with police officers. Yup, I got my first citation. Actually, I made a Mustang unusable within 5 miles of leaving the airport. Impressed? OK so in my defence, it wasn’t my fault (Hey, I know how insurance works…NEVERContinue reading “You can stay here and die…or I can give you a citation”

What is not to ‘Like’? Everything.

Facebook.  Ugh.  Facebook.  The site of egotistical maniacs, game players, dinner photo posters and…well…the list is somewhat endless. My interest in finding out that in the game you are currently playing you have just found an earthworm-monkey hybrid with herpes and you need another game player to give the secret of sphincter to help youContinue reading “What is not to ‘Like’? Everything.”

I would have more success chatting up a hungry zombie while I was tied to a chair

When I was much younger I was scared of talking to girls.  I would be a jabbering wreck unable to get my words out.  I wouldn’t be able to walk straight and would sweat profusely when around them.  These days I call that excessive alcohol intake.  Fortunately, I am no longer scared of girls.  Although IContinue reading “I would have more success chatting up a hungry zombie while I was tied to a chair”

The Easter Bunny needs to do one.

Well then.  That is Easter done for another year.  How was it for you?  Do anything nice?  Oh really!? that sounds a lot of fun.  Anyway, enough about you. I have my issues with the Easter Bunny.  He is irresponsible and evil (no kidding, put “evil Easter bunny” in to Google images…the results are franklyContinue reading “The Easter Bunny needs to do one.”

There are times to scratch that itch. There are also times you really shouldn’t.

I am not easily offended. Especially by nudity.  In fact quite the opposite and I have zero problem if a woman wants to walk around with very little clothes on and if anything I actively encourage it. I know, I am a martyr. What can I say, you are right. Recently in Germany I wasContinue reading “There are times to scratch that itch. There are also times you really shouldn’t.”

I nearly became a serial murderer statistic..maybe. Probably not.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself in Germany. By “found myself”, I don’t mean I went on some magical hippy crap adventure where I spent days surrounded by incense sticks, said “Hummmmmm” a lot surrounded by people blatantly wearing just their pyjamas but honestly believe it is “hemp clothing made by lesbian geeseContinue reading “I nearly became a serial murderer statistic..maybe. Probably not.”

I am the Zombie Brutal Kamikaze Hurt Cracker of Old London Town

I’ve seen things man.  Bad bad things.  I went 6 months underground.  But I came back up.  It’s dark down there.  They demanded I stayed…but I pushed my way back.  I broke through. I wont lie, it stank:   So.  Here we are.  I am as surprised as you are.  I was done with theContinue reading “I am the Zombie Brutal Kamikaze Hurt Cracker of Old London Town”

Fairwell, So long, It is time to move along now.

There are 346 post prior to this one for you to enjoy read when you are bored and lacking self esteem. There wont be 1 more post after this one unless someone takes over the site and starts posting.  If you are interested, email me (hint:  there is an email address in the About section)Continue reading “Fairwell, So long, It is time to move along now.”