Category Archives: Uncategorized

According to a recent report I made up in my head, for every day that passes, I am one day closer to being removed from this mortal coil we call life. According to the same report it is the same for everybody; including you. Scary isn’t it! Although, for some of us it comes soonerContinue reading “*shhhh* I see stupid people…”

I get a lot of spare time on my hands. Therefore, on top of the awesome story that is my life, sometimes I have to lower myself to menial chores. Today’s menial chore was to look at Google Trends. See who people are searching for most that day. Here are the top 5: 1. mikeContinue reading “When I were a lad, there was none of this popular nonsence.”

During the makings of a very impressive dinner last night, I got the leg of lamb out of the fridge, removed it from the packaging and turned the oven on. Hmmm…what to put it on. Let me check the packaging. Ohhh…ummm…hmmmm…that’s pretty much ruined dinner for me. How the hell do I get my ovenContinue reading “Any chance you can cremate this lamb joint for me?”

It’s no good. I cant hide my secret I have been protecting for so many years any longer. It is time to come out of the proverbial closet and tell you my biggest grievance. I HATE reality TV. Phew! That feels better. I have been hiding that nugget of information for so long now, itContinue reading “In reality, it’s a load of rubbish”

I think I am pregnant. Yes I know that a man cant get pregnant, but I really think I am. There are just too many similarities going on here to brush it aside and say “your being silly!”. I have done extensive research on this matter. My research involved googling some random words and acceptingContinue reading “You can milk a turkey cant you?”

“It is not very good is it. Now we are stranded here and I don’t know when we will take off. What are we supposed to do?” That line is courtesy of one of the cretins on the TV who are not happy that their flight was delayed because 130+ people could have died inContinue reading “Where’s my taser remote…”

There is a conspiracy going on in the food world. I don’t know what it is but I think it needs investigating. It might be subliminal messaging in the ads, or they are putting out shows to the susceptical people in the world and I am one of the weak minded fools being dragged in.Continue reading “Can I have a side of heart attack with that?”

I need to whinge. Why? Because it makes me feel special, wanted and gives me a fuzzy sensation that I otherwise only get from…well, you have a think about it and put your ideas on the comments section below. The winner gets the honour of being right. So. My whinge. As I sit here, theContinue reading “Vicariously your’s, Sy.”

“Drink in moderation”. The phrase sends a spine tingling sensation down areas that aren’t even my spine. OK, so sometimes it feels nice and makes me happy, but we are getting away from the point here. It is a phrase that is all too often used by those who have no real grasp on realityContinue reading “Moderation for the nation”

Dammit. This blog is practically turning into a “How to diet” blog, but this news story was just too hard to pass by. ——————- DISCLAIMER. It is not gonna be a pretty post. If you have a quite vivid imagination, it is not going to be without it’s downsides. Also not recommended while enjoying aContinue reading “Have cork, will travel.”