Category Archives: Uncategorized

Is it me, or are they assuming that we don’t know that bread is the perfect thing for making sandwiches and toast? I have been using CD cases until now as it held the filling in, but maybe this is the miracle I have been waiting for! I am sure that it is on thereContinue reading “No S&%t Sherlock!”

OK, I give up. What am I doing wrong? I have never been in a strike and I want to be. Everyone else seems to be able to. Every time I open up a news site, someone else is going on strike. We have the police wanting to go on strike over having to arrestContinue reading “Yes I know that’s what I agreed in my contract, but…”

Finally the day I have been hoping for the whole of my adult life has arrived. Today I read a story that a “little” alcohol every day can be healthy. Isn’t that just the best news? OK, so they actually say a little alcohol combined with a healthy active lifestyle ‘may’ be the best recipeContinue reading “No dinner for me. Only fluids the doctor said.”

The power of advertising and marketing is an impressive thing. You can get a complete waste of space ex-reality TV “star” (I use the term so loosely it could fall off of the planet) or someone of equal uber un-intelligence plastered in front of your face making you spend your hard earned money. I amContinue reading “I think the DVD player fancies me…”

The endless whining. Begging. Pleading. The confusion. The crying. The “why is it happening to me?” and the “What did I do to deserve this?” noises. Does that sound familiar? Should it? Because I am talking about a cat. If it somehow relates to your life, move along. This post will be of no useContinue reading “Should I cure her itch?”

My body is a temple. Unfortunately for me, it is the temple of doom. Indiana Jones wouldn’t be able to sort this mess out! I don’t have anything resembling a 6 pack. I have a small(ish) brewery for a stomach. Before my wife got pregnant, I had been known to have a drink a coupleContinue reading “Charity starts with a cough.”

“You mark my words young man!” and “You’ll eat your words!”. How many people have heard those lines. OK, so you might be female, so it might be “younglady” instead of “young man”, but you get the gist. Don’t make it difficult for difficults sake! I have finally found the two statements will indeed comeContinue reading “OI! Get my P out of your mouth!”

I have been eating left over turkey with the venom of a possessed elf on a trampoline whose sole aim is to be the bounciest elf in elfland. Now, when I take a leak, all I can smell is roast turkey. That just cant be a good thing. I have been known to drink aContinue reading “Dont bother to read the entire book…the Christmas Turkey done it.”

“Great. Someone has written another blog about what they did at Christmas.” Yeah I know, but maybe this one is different to the others? Or…well, you are here so why not read it. It might amuse you. It might even just keep you from googling your own name in boredom or something? (as a sideContinue reading “The sweaty panda told me to do it…”

It is quite surreal when you hear the words “Before we fly…there is one thing we need to do.” and then your wife reaches for the bumper pack of pregnancy kits she bought off of eBay a while ago. When I say bumper pack, I mean there was about 50 of the things. Tiny littleContinue reading “Have stick…will pee on it”