Category Archives: Uncategorized

Mother (Can I call you that?)  I am feeling a little let down.  I feel that you are dropping the ball a little  recently.  Let me explain why, and then feel free to sort it the hell out.  Please. The list could be endless, but because this is all about me, let’s talk about theContinue reading “An open letter to Mother Nature”

A few days ago, someone came to my site via google with the search phrase “Who is sy from wheelturninghamsterdead”.  Stalkerish?  Maybe.  More worrying was the day after that someone from the same place (city) searched for “killing someone while having sex” which made me worry more about the first search. I don’t really understandContinue reading “I want to kill sy from wheelturninghamsterdead”

It’s not that I am anti-religious.  I just have my beliefs that it’s all a load of boohickey and thus, being my website, my word is final.  Therefore, finding myself stood in a church the past weekend made for some interesting viewing. It was a wedding.  A happy occasion.  Except that I seemed to beContinue reading “Don’t start on the marshmallows until I have been burning for a while”

I think I got awkwardly close to being arrested by the UK anti-terrorism police last week. Why?  Because I have put on a little weight.  No, I don’t mean that overweight (and in my case ugly) people are terrorists and that slim attractive people are like a rainbow that has each end delving deeply inContinue reading “Is that a grenade between your arse cheeks or did your testicles just fall off?”

Ah yes.  Fairground rides.  Don’t you just love them?  I mean “love them” in that “Yay!  Spinny spinny!  I am gonna vomit!  YEEEEHAAAAW!” kind of way.  Not that “oh baby…you are such a cold hard metal piece of machinery that I could just get up close and personal, marry you and then we could getContinue reading “Wanted: Straight Jacket for Fairground Loving Nutter”

Well, after the fun of THIS post with the lovely sounding Sali, who wanted to share her millions of dollars with me but decided not to reply to my last email, I was less than impressed.  I mean, did the bloke running the scam work out I might be taking the pee when I emailed with: OhContinue reading “Playing with the email scammers…part 2. This time it’s personal.”

OK, so that last post was an April Fools thing which may have had some people not caring, and the rest thinking “Ha!  Getting what he deserves!”.    But in all seriousness, getting a post written for a blog that has readers from time zones 12 hours ahead and 10 hours behind… and is only validContinue reading “It might be natural, but I just dont want to see it.”

Sadly…yes it is.  But what does that really mean?  Can I finally say “It’s because of my age” rather than “Well…That’s never happened before…I am sure it is not you, it is me.” because my wife is catching on that I have used it more than once in our time together.  Well, when I sayContinue reading “Did someone mention it is my birthday?”

In the best piece of research since I wondered if I could eat a hollowed out Cumberland sausage stuffed with dog crap, the good old NHS has made my life incredibly exciting by advising people who don’t get time to work out to just have lots of sex.  The say, and I quote (because quoting is funContinue reading “Fact: You can beat illness by having more sex!”

Or lazy.  You decide. I would like a guest post from you.   Yes, you…the person reading this.  So if you haven’t got a blog and fancy writing something, or have a blog and fancy doing the crazy, drop me a mail with your post to sy@wheelturninghamsterdead.com for me to have a read. A few rules. 1Continue reading “Because I am that nice…”