Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ahh yes.  The profoundness of watching a film and thinking of something completely irrelevant.  This time, it was “The Time Machine”.  I find watching Guy Pearce “act” about as exciting as getting molested by a bear with a dodgy disease.  But that doesn’t matter.  (Does it?) Geez.  Ya know…I cannot remember where I was goingContinue reading “So just what does a blind person dream about?”

Once in a while, you read a news headline and think “Huh??” and you then click that little link to see what is coming.  In this instance, the headline read: Cash-in-buttocks man in M25 ban So obviously, I clicked the link.  Fortunately, the first thing I noticed was the lack of pictures.  The last thingContinue reading “These drugs smell like shi…underwear.”

A while ago I wrote a post about a camel beauty pageant.  I would put a link to it here…but that would involve me finding it.  Therefore, think of the fun you can have looking for it yourself! Alternatively you can read this one which is not about a camel.  Instead, it is about aContinue reading “I will give you an award if I can pull on your udders!”

People are all too often berated for doing something completely normal (to them) 5and then to the rest of the world, it seems a little weird. Take for example this tale of woe.  Of wee.  Of “woohooooo!”.  But it ended in an “ooohhh….”.  It could happen to anyone.  Even you!  Well, if “you” are aContinue reading “That park bench never looked so good…”

A couple of months ago: So there I was, looking at my nasty ingrowing toenail. It was a terrible. It sat there staring at me, being all ingrowy (if that is even a word?).  I decided it was time to take action.  So being sensible, I asked Google the best way to clear my toe of thisContinue reading “I don’t feel ill, I am just a little green.”

False advertising.  What a wonderful thing.  Just from watching the TV tells me I can look 30 years younger by rubbing something on my face which has a fancy name, but is probably the inside of a pigs intestine or something like that.  “Pentapeptides” the adverts say.  Does anyone know what they are?  To be honest, IContinue reading “And they can also help you grow a second head!”

23rd July @ 6am – In a very pleasant slumber, my wife starts playing with my feet.  I enjoy this.  She never does it.  Because my feet smell of cheese?  Maybe.  Because my feet are as ugly as the love child of George Bush and Gordon Brown after a night on the absinthe?  Well, they aren’tContinue reading “Like a series of 24, but it’s 25 hours long. And no guns.”

Have any of you got a guinea pig?  Or maybe two?  Or maybe the two you did have, got their freak on, and now you have 10.  You know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Well, not until they reach puberty and go out buying dresses for lunch with friends.  Just the other day I took Papa andContinue reading “Just don’t order the leg.”

Did you do much?  Maybe you went and had a little look at Don’s site and had a bit of a giggle.  Then again, maybe you rented a movie, and then had a chat with Jim about it?  Maybe?  Maybe you just went to Mrs T’s house and talked about the virtues of being aContinue reading “So how was your day?”

I have an idea which has probably been thought up many times before, but I am claiming it based on me wanting to. Let me set the scene. It is Sunday, and we take a nice leisurely drive out to do a few things.  I got to drive along urban roads, motorway’s and dual carriageways. Continue reading “It must be Sunday. Lets all drive like idiots!”