According to THIS news story, Italian Judges have told Italian men to stop scratching their fun department in public. (Side note. The original news story is written by “Nick Pisa” in Rome. Of course it is.)
They have decided it is an act of indecency. No it isn’t. Us blokes need a damn good scratch as much as Women do. And would we have a problem with women uncouthly scratching there sexy bits in public? Actually…
But what took my interest in a story about men groping themselves in public was the line
Superstitious Italian men often hold or touch their private parts for good luck when they see a hearse or to ward off bad luck – the equivalent of touching wood in Britain.
I guess it gives us an idea of where the phrase “touching wood” came from then. “Excuse me sir, is that a lump of wood in your trousers?” “Good heavens no. There was a hearse going past.”. But the average person who would grab their crotch near a hearse in Britain is a dickhead. Thus why we touch our heads and say “touch wood”.
So they are saying that grabbing a handful is actually to bring good luck? I love culture. The differences between different countries is astounding. Should I ever be in a hearse (as a passenger, not as the unlucky victim) and I saw some guy grab his nuts as we went past, I would probably stop the hearse and make sure he ended up in the back of the hearse too.
But if they want to ban things like that, then I feel that to make up for the constant itch you cannot scratch, then women must also give up something. I was thinking of making them give up boxing, but you just don’t really see that too often in the streets. And when you do, it is a catfight of sorts and can be a giggle to watch as 2 women battle to the death while trying to not mess up their makeup. So I think that the punishment should be to stop eating an ice cream suggestively. Yeah, you all do it. You get the ice cream, open the wrapper and eat it with a look of enjoyment. So we grab our crotch (as it is itching) and now we get arrested.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 