Can you buy a razor for a laptop?

 

My Laptop is the HP Sasquatch model. It is hairier then Harry the hairy hermits hairiest day in the history of hairyism.

This is not a design “feature” of Mr Sastop. It is caused by the woman in my life. She is malting as if the world the world will end if she doesn’t lose every inch of hair in the next 48 hours. I am talking about my cat here. Not my wife, who has lovely hair and it makes her look pretty. But the cat. The cat will not leave me alone. I am pretty sure it is because she is preggers as I have said before and a trip to the vets shortly to find out if I really am that bad a father that let ger get up the duff on her “first time out”. But she also chews the laptop.

I know from hearing other conversations and from the fact that I know everything, that this is standard fare for a cat. “I want attention. You have a laptop which is getting more attention then me. Therefore, I will eat the laptop.” and the circle of life continues.

I don’t mind so much, as she is only after some affection. I am less angry with her then my wife is with me when I turn up unannounced to her work and sit there hugging her for an hour and sticking my nose in her mouth while making a purring noise. I even sat on the keyboard and threw the mouse on the floor once to get more attention as I wasn’t getting any from her. But you don’t see *me* calling security when Charlie the cat does it on the laptop do you?! Some companies can be so petty. It is rude that I now have a court injunction saying I cannot go within 200m of the building when all I wanted was a hug. It was a crime of passion.

So how comes an animal loses it’s fur coming in to summer, but I don’t lose the fat on my body? We are supposed to be the master species on this planet. Where is evolution taking us I wonder? Is there a “plan” for us? Will we all turn out like the Hindu God Ganesha where we have a most useful trunk and 4 arms? Because that would be pretty handy! OK, we might look a little stupid as far as today standards go and the first to take on this look may get a little teased in school but over time it would be accepted.