I was going to write a post a couple of days ago, but then I realised that we were going to get sucked in to a black hole when the reactor thingy with spinning fast things going round in circles was turned on, so didn’t waste my time. Boy, do I ever have egg on my face now after finding out that we did indeed survive. So I figured I should write something.
Yeah I know what you are thinking. “Why the hell do I come to this site?”. Well, the answer is “because it beats being on the McDonald’s diet.”
That made sense right? Of course it does. Think about it. McDonald’s gives you the shits. Reading my verbal diarreah is less painful as it doesn’t leave you feeling queasy. Well, it does, but like one of those weird huge cinema things where you stand there and it is like you are on a rollercoaster, you can just look away or close your eyes to make it stop. Alternatively, press and hold down the ALT key and then press F4 key now. Something amazing will happen!
Of course, maybe McDonald’s is your thing? Which you know…each to their own. Some people like smearing themselves in car engine oil and calling themselves “Speedy McEngine – The fastest engine in the west” which honestly…cannot be flattering. “Oh, so you are greased up and are fast as anything?” the young lady says to meyou. That must have been embarrassing. Luckily being all greased up, it was easy to speedily slide away. I guess. If that happened. To someone. Gee, that must have been harsh on them.
Where was I? Oh yeah…
But some dude with either a cast iron stomach, or a death wish which just wont come true (someone isn’t trying hard enough!) has eaten 23000 Big Macs in 36 years. 23000? That is a lot right? I counted to 21 and that is where I lost fingers/toes/other to count, but even then I was starting to feel ill. Don’t get me wrong. I love junk food. KFC, BK, WTHD…all of them. I just cannot eat McDonald’s for safety reasons. The safety reason is in place because every time in the past that I ate a Big Mac, I felt the need to vomit over some unsuspecting soul that desperately needs it. Maybe a teenager. No, not ALL teenagers, just one of the really annoying ones that cannot speak English, and that is not because he is from the amazon and has never met an English speaking person before or something, I mean one of the snot nosed idiots where I live. In England. Who are English. But just cannot speak it.
Yeah, I really am going somewhere with this.
There is a website setup for “Parents of teenagers” to help with the language barrier. There is a language barrier because the average teenager cannot actually speak “English” per say. They have their own language. I believe it is called “Bollocks”.
In this “bollocks”, they basically change the words around and give them a new meaning. ORRRR….is it because they are as thick as thicky the thick thing who has a diploma from the university of Thicky in Thicksville, and they just can’t actually speak “English”, so through cave paintings on the inside of their souped up cars, they learn this new language.
An example of this new language:
Breeze = Rubbish.
Of course it does. Why wouldn’t it. Strangely, when I looked up “Stupid dumb infantile idiot”, they didn’t relate it to the phrase “Demonic Teenager from where Sy lives”. One rule for one with these teenagers isnt it.
According to what I read in the “dictionary”, the average teenager understands just one of the words in the following sentence:
Golly gosh old boy, I do believe I may have inadvertently dissed the young chap of the teen years.
Right. I am off to get my hoodie on, get my skin as pale as I can and talk bollocks to some drunk kid outside. Yeah homeboy.
Honestly…go read the dictionary.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 