Environmentalists are fun. I think it may be due to the fact that you can’t have the word without writing “mentalists”, which in certain respects just fits the bill better than a garden gnome fits someone with mad crazy gardening skills.
They (the mentalists, not the garden gnomes) called in the police after a heinous crime against nature. Some poor trees were being felled, so they acted. They wanted justice. They wanted the person or persons behind this brought to justice. They wanted to put a banner up saying “We are great! We saved the day!” on a sign made from plastic using machines powered by coal of nuclear power…or pretty much everything else they are against. In fact, why aren’t they just naked or only wearing clothes made from leaves which committed suicide by falling off of the tree? Or sent to the moon…without the space suit as it is made from man made materials. Nor a spaceship for that matter. So just a large explosive charge inserted somewhere and see how far they go.
But I digress,
The police were called. A manhunt ensued. And they caught them. Oh boy did they catch them.
The beavers that is.
Yes, the evil “fellers” were freakin beavers. How awesome is that? They went after nature itself! Although I am a little upset that during the hugging of the trees marked for felling by the evil beavers that one didn’t fall on the mentalists and knock any sense in to them.
Of course, being the nice guy I am, I have the perfect solution for them after going after the poor beavers. It is a fair and just solution. It happens to involve an enclosure of 36 very wild wolves and the mentalists. (You know, I am sure I am supposed to be saying “activists” and not “mentalists” but the latter really just fits. Unless you think they act like a bunch of numbnuts, in which case they can be activists.
I love China. And I don’t mean the “nice plates you only bring out at Christmas” variety of China. I mean the country. OK, so “love” is maybe not the word, but they have some great people which will be the basis for my next post. I was going to do it on this one, but it involves doing some research…so you can wait! In China they really do want people to go in to an enclosure full of wolves and write some notes. I know you agree that the mentalists should indeed be going in there. Who better to hug a hungry hungry hippo wolf than a person who wouldn’t let any harm come to them or the tree they live in?
No beavers were harmed in the writing of this post. Sadly, the same goes for the mentalists.
Original beaver story can be seen HERE. Hungry hungry wolves can be seen HERE. Coz you know…I know you like to read that stuff.
wheelturninghamsterdead.com 