Category Archives: Uncategorized

A man in Australia broke in to a sex shop, had his wicked way with three blow up dolls in the “Jungle Jane” range (and probably a pack of chocolate willies as a snack once he was done, coz you know, people get the munchies after such a hard days graft) and then threw themContinue reading “Sex with blow up dolls. Strangely legally illegal. Depending on the surroundings.”

So it seems that (although I am pretty sure it is just a joke) the porn industry is having a….erm…hard time with the economic crisis, and have asked for $5Billion to help them get it back up again.  I can see where they are going with this one I guess.  If I was given $5BILLION,Continue reading “Flacid industry seeks financial pumping.”

Huh.  What do you know.  200th post.  I guess that deserves absolutely nothing different from my usual drivel then! I thank Tami for the subject content for this post, and for the next one I write as she saw this and thought of me.  Which is nice in a way, and disturbing in another becauseContinue reading “I want half of everything…and my kidney back.”

A woman in Australia set fire to her husbands pulsating python of love because she thought he was cheating on her.  A bit extreme maybe when she could have just talked to him constantly for 5 hours without him getting a word in…which would have probably made him want to hurt himself anyway.   OK, soContinue reading “Have match, will set fire to penis.”

Well, as my wife seems to say to me a lot;  “Is that it?  All that build up and now I don’t even feel like it even happened!”.  Yes, Christmas (for me) is now a blurred whisky and beer soaked memory. Of course, it is good that it is over after the fundamental errors IContinue reading “Just like a bad panto line, when it comes to Christmas, “It’s behind you!””

Rant rant rant.  You know, I tried to make this funny…wow did I ever fail!! Well, it is that time of the year again.  Christmas.  A time of peace on earth, and of being kind to your fellow humans.  A time of no stress and happy thoughts. The start of Christmas in my household was asContinue reading “Christmas Cheer = Get the hell out of my way!”

I think my cat may have a drug problem. It started a while ago when her behaviour changed which was followed by money missing from my wallet.  At first I thought it must have been my wife stealing the money because…well…when is the last time you saw a cat spending money?  Yeah exactly.  So whenContinue reading “Do you trust your cat to supply you dinner??”

I give up.  What the hell do you buy a woman for Christmas?  I had great ideas last year and the year before that, but there are only so many times I can buy her a toy reindeer that poops out chocolate raisins before it starts to get very old for her. So being theContinue reading “A lesson in not knowing how to buy a Christmas present”

Well it isn’t because of the clean always breathable air.  Nor the always friendly government. China is like the very centre of the Bermuda Triangle.  Except that it is nowhere near Bermuda, and is not even mildly triangle shaped.  But apart from that, pretty much spot on.  Strange things happen there with the people and animals. Continue reading “I want to move to China because….”

Environmentalists are fun.  I think it may be due to the fact that you can’t have the word without writing “mentalists”, which in certain respects just fits the bill better than a garden gnome fits someone with mad crazy gardening skills. They (the mentalists, not the garden gnomes) called in the police after a heinous crime againstContinue reading ““Environmentalists” – Stupid, really stupid or just confused?”